When the market crashed, FOMO Freddy didn’t flinch — he saluted, screamed!
By Freddy FOMO
Freddy FOMO is the jittery crypto blob who buys into hype before it even starts. He wears his tilted “FOMO” headband like a badge of honor, his baseball cap barely hanging on as he sprints through the Market Panic Line — a neon-lit mess of charts, trending hashtags, and screaming candles. His orange vest? Stuffed with receipts from coins he bought 12 seconds before the dump. Freddy doesn’t read whitepapers — he reads vibes. Every flicker in the market makes him flinch, every “Last Chance!” alert sends him into a full-body flop sweat. He once YOLO’d into $RAREMEAT because a random tweet said “meat is the new meta.” It wasn’t. But no matter how many rugs pull the floor from under him, Freddy never stops chasing that one coin that might actually go to the moon. Probably. Hopefully. Please.
Freak Off